Friday, July 10, 2009

And he walked back to the boat.

Of all characters in the bible, the one which I can relate the most are David and Peter. There are quite a few phrases that the bible uses to convey a great convoy of meanings. The effective amplitude of the meaning and gravity of the concept is much above and much compelling than the literal meaning and simplicity of such statement. One easy example would be John’s confession that God is Love. If you take a closer look, John is not trying to define god and is not even talking about an attribute of God. That is in fact a giving-up kind of statement from a man who was devastated in God’s love. He has seen that in action, in flesh, in words. Once he tried to say that god is that chord of rational logic that sets the whole universe in motion. In a way he was saying god is the essence of all conscience. He borrowed the then prevailing concept of logos to depict god. After so many such ‘futile’ attempts John is finally giving up his efforts and is simply saying that: “Oh! Look ye my little children. I tried my level best to tell you the personal traits of a personal god. I tried to portray the magnificence of an omnipresent god in whom this whole universe is contained. But I am admitting that I failed. I failed to even convey a glimpse of his glory. I failed to even admonish a portion of his majesty. And above all, I failed to even touch upon the effects and manifestations of his fathomless love to you and me. Hence I am hereby refraining from all my efforts and is gonna just say God is Love and put a period.” And that is John, with a heart full of gratitude and soul full of joy, scribbled down when he made that statement.
The Spirit of God has used such phrases in many places. When it is said that “That day David became afraid of God”, it also is not the narration of an event with a moral tail. The statement, “Jesus turned and looked at Peter” was not simply to educate the reader that yet another prediction of Jesus came true. That one look transpired volumes of teaching that peter could not imbibe from three and a half years of life with Jesus. Many times we overlook such phrases and fall short in appreciating the real amplified beauty of the phrase, context or event. One such event, which is not only overlooked but many times misinterpreted, is an incident from the life of Peter and Jesus. Mathew 14: 28-31. It’s the much familiar scene of Peter walking on the water.
This incident is often quoted to discuss the faithlessness of Peter and exhortation of Jesus to trust him. It indeed is incidental on both aspects. But there is one special point we often miss. Do you realize that of all the humans even lived on this earth, of all humans with an authentic recorded history, Peter is the single man who walked on water apart from god incarnate Jesus. It is true that he sank a little; but he did walk on the water. He did experience in his own flesh the magnificent feeling when waves of water petted his feet against the prevailing laws of nature. He did stand along with the master of the universe and witnessed those unshakable boundaries of natural law shivering before the writer of those laws. He did walk on the water.
This particular passage is also a clear representation of a divinely acceptable Christian life. Holy Spirit is clearly illuminating the modus operandi. Each statement there is a statement of purpose.

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied,
The prerogative for a Christian life is reflected in the statement. i.e the following laws or rather rights are applicable only if you satisfy this condition. Without acknowledging this authority and surrendering to His will, the exhortation that follows would be mundane, dry, indifferent, fanatic and of no practical use to you. Many times Christian doctors wonder why ‘Christians’ have difficulty in being Christians. There is nothing much to diagnose over it. It is God’s statement of purpose that you better acknowledge him first and then things will automatically fall in line. This statement by Peter is exclusively based on the following assumptions.
I believe in you.
I believe that you can do these things.
I believe that if you will I can also do these things.
I commit myself to doing your will.
I shall be allowed to go ahead if and only if it is you will.
And here I am and here I come to do your will.

"tell me to come to you on the water."
Now that is a very strong statement. Isn’t it? What was peter asking for? There is a saying like this: “Be careful with what you ask for. You may just get it!” of all those disciples in that boat, Peter was the only crazy guy to express his desire to walk on the water. It was acceptable that Jesus walked on the water. After all the disciples knew this man was something special. Jesus was their guru, the teacher. But a disciple demanding such a desire is not so common among many guru-shishya relations. Interestingly this is exactly the Lord desires from every Christian. That, after acknowledging him as Lord, a Christian should desire to walk on the water. Maybe it will sound silly. It is indeed illogical. It is against all natural laws of the world. It could be against the whims and fancies of your society/culture/family/friends/lover. You will definitely invite scores of strange looks and abuses from people around you. They will call you all sorts of names. They will advice you to get back to your senses and be normal. They will scroll the total human history before you and will educate you that from the starting of ages, no one has ever walked or even attempted to walk on the water. And they are right. Their concerns for you are serious and out of love. But I stand corrected here as per the word of God. Somehow God desires that you cast away all your inhibitions, overlook the possible dangers, cling to Him in total faith and do walk on the water.
And peter indeed walked on the water.
In continuation with the assumptions we derived from the previous phrase, here the following assertions are certain.
I am true to my commitment to do your will.
I earnestly desire to walk on the water.
I trust in you that if u says so, I can surely walk on the water.
Unless u tell me to come on the water, I won’t even touch these waters.
And it is not for a show off that I desire to walk on the water, but is to come to you.

“Come," he said.
Now that is a simple statement. There are no clauses, no fine prints, no ifs/buts/whys, no questions, no crosschecks on objectives, no fool proofing, no precautions, and no conditional explanations. There is just one simple command from the lord to come. Lord is deliberating that yes, I appreciate your desire and here my words proceedeth to make all valleys plain and hills low, to make all those natural laws void and to urge the whole universe to conspire for you. Come over my child and walk on the water.

“Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.”
This is a self explanatory statement. Peter left the comfort and safety of the boat. He decided to suffer the uncertainty of the sea along with Jesus than to savor the certainty of the boat without Jesus. Paul later assures us that such choices are better choices. Leaving the boat and focusing himself on Jesus and his command to come over, Peter started walking on the water. I won’t be able to tell you literally how he felt. But I can assure you that it would be a great experience and a fulfilling endeavor when you see the natural laws bow down before you and the mighty waves of the cruel sea are but washing and petting your feet. The whirly wind which tosses the boat is but a sweet breeze caressing your body. Oh! How much I envy you Peter! And he walked towards Jesus. Naturally he would have looked right into the eyes of the savior. And I am sure Jesus would have smiled such a sweet smile. Isn’t it the first time that I allow one of my natural laws to be broken by a creature? Doesn’t it feel so great to be trusted so complete. He might have even glazed at his father in heaven who was acknowledging the act with a similar smile.
And peter walked towards Jesus. Now that is very very important. Bible doesn’t give you much peripheral reasons why you should walk on water. If you are walking, then it better be towards Jesus. That is what bible says. There could be a thousand co-objectives for you; but nothing should overshadow the main objective. Bible, very seriously, doesn’t allow any confusion on that. It is “towards Jesus” and that is it. And as long as Peters focus was on Jesus, he walked on the water.

“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink,”
Tell me one good reason why peter should not be afraid. Poor Peter is quite often scolded by ‘Christians’ for being afraid then. But in all your logics, all your reasoning, all you intellect and rationality, is there anything that should have stopped him from being afraid? He saw the winds. Maybe you have walked on the water all your life. Maybe you have focused your sight on Jesus all these years. But there is still a solid possibility that you will suddenly realize there is wind around you. It was not that suddenly wind blew and Peter got afraid. Wind was already hauling there. But Peter missed sensing its presence because his eyes were focused on Jesus and mind was focused on walking on the water. Thus after a few steps, he felt comfortable with the waves tickling his feet, a little complacency brooded in his mind, his gaze shifted a little from Jesus for a better ‘world view’ and he suddenly ‘realized’ he was walking on the water. He ‘realized’ that there is a weird wind hauling around, that it is not ‘normal’ to walk on water, that the laws of nature should not be ‘trampled’ upon. And naturally he got afraid. I don’t find any reason why he should not be afraid. It is this fear that kept humanity safe from all natural calamities all these long. That fear is also natural, normal and very much desirable. Without such a fear humankind would not have survived this far. Thus Peter got afraid.
Now there is a special clause in this new path perfected by Jesus Christ. In Jesus own words it is “as per your belief, so be it to you.” I earnestly presume that God quite often blink away that clause. Otherwise I would not have been here. But a clause is a clause. So whence Peter fluttered in his belief, thence his feet also fluttered and the water could no longer hold him up. The unnatural gave way to natural. And he began to sink.

cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Now this is the key. It is natural that the unnatural may wear off a little. In John’s words: “My little children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin…” then there is a provision for it. And this is the provision. Yet another simple statement with no frills attached. No brainstorming and error deductions. The moment you feel the water is slipping under your feet, the moment you feel the winds are acting weird, heed no more. Cry out! Cry out, “Lord, save me!” The assumptions remain the same and valid.
I acknowledge that you are the Lord.
I acknowledge that you alone can save me now.
I fully believe that if you will, you can save me.
Taking a little creative liberty, I want to touch upon a special aspect of this cry. It is natural that when u cry for help, you look straight into the eyes of the person who can help you. There is no more battles of ego, no more rights vs wrongs, u throw away all those emotional baggage and is just like a toddler looking for help. Peter looked straight into Jesus’s eyes. What could have he saw there? The majesty of Lord Almighty, the authority of the maker of these laws, the deep love which emptied itself. But I am more concerned about what the same Peter saw in the eyes of the same Jesus not very long after this incident. The scenario was totally different. Here the laws bowed down before him in reverence; there he bowed down like a sheep to be slaughtered. Here he stood above the waters ruling the whole nature; there he was under the troubling shadows of a cross nearby. And there “Jesus turned and looked into Peter’s eyes”. Oh! What a statement? What could have Peter saw in those eyes then? The heavy heart of God that, even among those worst of adversities, was proclaiming that I still love you Peter. Peter who has seen the might of god in the eyes of Jesus when he thus stood over those waters couldn’t take the sight of such agony, helplessness and deep passion radiating from those same eyes. And “he went out and wept bitterly”. Who can ever stand such a look? How can any man but shatter down and cry out aloud, “Lord, save me!” The eyes of restoration. Oh! I envy you Peter.
No matter what water you are sinking. No matter how dirty and muddy it is. No matter how stinking it is. No matter how deep it is. No matter how troublesome the sea around you is. No matter how low your fellowman in the boat is thinking about you. No matter how people around you mocks at you for taking such huge risks and now sinking yourself. No matter that it is normal to humans to always forget that you indeed had walked on the waters before you started sinking. No matter what so ever, when you sense the waters slipping beneath your feet, invariably you have to look at Jesus and cry out. This is a huge privilege and provision. And this is the only provision!

“Immediately”
No ‘perfecting’ you with those trials. No letting you gulp a few water so that you will learn a lesson. No ‘human logics’ of teaching the kid the hard way of letting it touch the flame. Its immediate. A self explanatory phrase. Still I thought I will just highlight it.

“Jesus reached out his hand and caught him”
There could be another thousand ways to save Peter. Can’t the Lord of the water ask the water to spit back Peter. Or for that matter any other way. Why Jesus himself should rush to the spot, stretch out his hands and rescue Peter. I would rather add that question to my book of “answer-less questions”. He just chose to do so. The ways of love were always curvilinear to logic and reasoning. But I adore that personal touch in that verse. He could have used another thousand methods to enact this rescue, but he chose to empty himself, come down as a man, a servant, humbled himself in earnest obedience, obedience even unto the death on a cross. And from that cross, he reached out his hands and took me out of the waters. What a savior!

"You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Don’t even consider that as a scolding. It is not. It is in fact a restoration assurance. Jesus is saying that: ”Oh! Dear dear Peter, I know that you earnestly desired to walk on the water. I saw you walking on the water. I was delighted that these laws of nature bowed before you when you put your whole trust upon me. And don’t u worry about that sinking part. I understand that it is normal for you to doubt and be afraid. Nevertheless you should have fully trusted on me and doubt not. Ain’t I the one who asked you to come over? Ain’t I the ruler and maker of all these laws? Won’t they will bend away before me? Shouldn’t you be trusting me on this? Anyway, its ok kid. But try not to doubt next time”.

“And when they climbed into the boat,”
That is an epilogue to this supernatural event. The word of God is silent on how both of them reached the boat or whether the boat sailed and reached them. Let me indulge in a little more creative liberty. After restoring Peter back on the waters, there are logically only two ways Peter would reach back to the boat. One possibility is that Jesus would carry Peter in his arms. That indeed is a soothing thought, but I don’t thing that was what happened. The second possibility is that Peter walked back to the boat. Now that is wonderful and with full faith and assurance I believe that is exactly what happened. Peter once again walked on the water. He and Jesus chitchatted a little till they reached the boat and then both of them climbed into the boat. That is a classic event of complete restoration. Not only was Peter rescued from his shame of sinking, but was again given the grace to walk on the water. Once again the laws of the nature stood in awe and bowed down before the son of man and his chosen one. Oh! This blessed assurance.

If only our life in this troubled waters of world be like that. It is Gods desire that you should cling all your trust in him and attain the unnatural. That you should walk on the water. Now when you walk so, there is all possibility that we may suddenly get a little wavy with the winds and loss of focus. But don’t you worry too much when the waters act weird beneath your feet. Cast away all your apprehensions, shed away all your egos and cry out! And be assured that there wont be any ‘skewed testing times’. Its gonna be an immediate rescue and restoration. You just have to look into his eyes. Those eyes will speak volumes about a love that emptied itself. He will again whisper to you about your rightful privilege and provisions to totally trust in him. And not only would you be restored so, you will again walk on the water. You will walk on the water with Jesus Christ by your side and will climb into the boat. Sailing through this troublesome waters, one day this boat will reach that beautiful shore. There we shall dwell on a land where there is no sea.
Till then, Bon Voyage.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Come to the watersന്റെ മലയാളം പരിഭാഷ

യേശു താൻ ചൊന്നു, നീ വാ എൻ ചാരേ
ജീവന്റെ വെള്ളം നുകർന്നീടുക
നിൻ രാവിന്റെ ഓരോ കണ്ണുനീരും
വീണതെൻ നെഞ്ചിൽ, സ്നേഹിപ്പൂ ഞാൻ

നിൻ ഭാരമെന്മേൽ എറിക, നീ ചൊന്നു
നിൻ നാളെയൊക്കെ എൻ കൂടെ, നീ ചൊന്നു
ശോകാന്ധേ നിന്നെ ഞാൻ തള്ളിയേനേ
നീയോ അണച്ചെന്നെ മാറിടത്തിൽ
നിൻ വാഗ്ദത്തം പോൽ

നാഥാ നിൻ പ്രേമം അവർണ്ണനീയം
മുന്നേ ഒരുക്കിയീ കാണ്മതെല്ലാം
എൻ ചാരേ നിൽപ്പൂ നീ ഇന്നുമെന്നും
നിൻ പ്രേമം അറുത്തെന്റെ ബന്ധനങ്ങൾ
ഓ! നാഥാ ഞാൻ ആർ?

എൻ സർവ്വം നിൻ പാദേ അർപ്പിപ്പൂ ഞാൻ
നിൻ സാന്നിധ്യമെന്യേ അപൂർണ്ണനാം ഞാൻ
ജീവൻ പകർന്നെന്നെ വീണ്ടെടുത്തോൻ
നന്ദി ഞാൻ ചൊൽവേൻ താഴ്ച്ചയോടെ
സ്വീകരിയ്ക്ക

ഈശാവിഭൂഷണം

വാനത്തിൽ ഏറി വരുന്നിതെൻ നായകൻ
വാന ഗോളങ്ങളെ ശീമാവിൽ ചേർപ്പാൻ
വാന ലോകങ്ങളെ താണ്ടി ഞാൻ ഏറും
നേരമാ പ്രേമി തൻ മാറിൽ ഞാൻ ചേരും

കാൽവറി മേടതിൽ കണ്ടൊരു സ്നേഹം
കാരുണ്യവാരി തൻ പ്രേമപ്രവാഹം
കാരിരുംബാണിയിൽ തൂങ്ങുന്ന നേരം
കനിവിൽ താൻ കണ്ടതോ പ്രണിയെൻ ദേഹം

യാഹെന്ന വാക്കിലാനുർവ്വിയിൻ ഉള്ളം
കാലം രചിച്ചതോ യാഹ്‌ തൻ വാക്കാൽ
ശൂന്യത്തിൽ നിന്നുമീ കാന്മതാം ലോകം
കാലത്തിൽ നിർത്തി നീ ദ്യോവിൽ അകാലം

സൃഷ്ടിച്ചു സർവ്വവും നിൻ വചനത്താൽ
ഗോളവും സൂര്യനും താരും തരുവും
കണ്ടു നീ സർവ്വവും നന്നെന്നു ചൊന്നു
എങ്കിലും നെഞ്ചകം എന്തിനോ തേങ്ങി

പൂഴിയിൽ കണ്ടു നീ എന്നുടെ ദേഹം
ആവി താൻ നിർമ്മിച്ചു ആദമിൻ ദേഹം
ജീവൻ പകർന്നു നീ നിൻ ശ്വസനത്താൽ
ഏറ്റവും നന്നെന്നു ചൊന്നു നീ മോദാൽ

ഏദനിൽ അന്നു ഞാൻ കായ്‌ തിന്ന നേരം
കേട്ടു തുടങ്ങിയെൻ മൃത്യുവിൻ താളം
നിന്നുടെ കാലൊച്ച കെട്ടൊരു നേരം
ഓടിയൊളിച്ചു ഞാൻ നഗ്നനനാനേവം

അന്നേ മുറിഞ്ഞതാണീ താത ബന്ധം
നാഥാ മടങ്ങുവാൻ എന്തു ഞാൻ വേണ്ടൂ
കണ്ണൊന്നു ചിമ്മിയാൽ കാണ്മതെൻ മൃത്യു
ഏറ്റം തകർന്നിതാ നിൽക്കുന്നു സാധു

പൂഴിയിൽ എന്നെ നീ കണ്ടതിൽ മുന്നേ
ഭൂമണ്ഡലങ്ങളെ നിർമ്മിയ്ക്കും മുന്നേ
കണ്ടതാണെന്നെ നിൻ സൂനുവിൽ അന്നേ
പ്രേമസ്വരൂപ നിൻ ചെമ്മയാം അൻപേ

കാലത്തിൽ നാഥനാം കാരുണ്യരൂപൻ
കാലത്തെ ചായ്ച്ചു താൻ ഭൂവിൽ ഇറങ്ങി
യൂദയിൻ നാടതിൽ രാചിച്ച കാലം
ദിക്കുകൾ നാലിലും നരനായ്‌ വിളങ്ങി

കാലസമ്പൂർണ്ണത വന്നൊരു നേരം
താൻ ചൊന്നു സ്നേഹിതാ ഞാനാണു ജീവൻ
വിശ്വസിക്കെന്നെ നീ എങ്കിൽ പിതാവിൻ
ബന്ധത്തിൽ ആക്കിടും നിന്നെ ഞാൻ വീണ്ടും

വർഷമായ്‌ പെയ്തതെൻ നീറുന്ന നെഞ്ചിൽ
എത്ര നാൾ ദാഹിച്ചു ഈ ജീവ തോയം
ഉള്ളം തണുത്തു ഞാൻ നിന്നാർദ്ദ്രമായി
മൃത്യുവിൻ കാലൊച്ച ദൂരവേ പോയി

ക്രൂശിക്ക ക്രൂശിക്ക എന്നാർത്തനാദം
കണ്ടു ഞാൻ ആടു പോൽ നിന്നു നീ മൗനം
ഊർവ്വിയിൻ നാഥനെ തുപ്പുന്ന നേരം
തള്ളിപ്പറഞ്ഞു ഞാൻ ഒന്നല്ലുരു മൂ

വെട്ടിത്തിരിഞ്ഞു നീ നോക്കിയെൻ കണ്ണിൽ
നാഥാ നിൻ കണ്ണിൽ ഞാൻ കണ്ടെന്റെ ജന്മം
പാപം ഗ്രസിച്ചവൻ പാപം സ്വയംഭൂ
പാപം നിനപ്പവൻ പാപാത്മ രൂപൻ

ഉള്ളം തകർന്നു ഞാൻ പൊട്ടിക്കരഞ്ഞു
ഭീരു ഞാൻ ഭീതനാം ഓടിയൊളിച്ചു
ഭാരിച്ച ക്രൂശുമായ്‌ കേണു നീ നീങ്ങേ
ദൂരവേ നിന്നു ഞാൻ നോക്കി കരഞ്ഞു

കാരിരുംബാണിയിൽ തൂങ്ങിക്കിടന്നു
ഒന്നൊന്നായ്‌ തീർത്തു നീ എൻ കടം പൂർണ്ണം
ഇത്രമേൽ സ്നേഹിപ്പാൻ ഊർവ്വിയിൻ നഥാ
എന്തു നീ കണ്ടുവോ സാധുവാമെന്നിൽ

മൃത്യുവെ വേന്നു നീ ഉയിർത്തു മൂന്നാം നാൾ
ക്രൂശിൽ നീ തുന്നിയെൻ നീതിയിൻ വസ്ത്രം
നഗ്നനല്ലിന്നു ഞാൻ നീതിയെൻ അങ്കി
ഭീതനല്ലിന്നു ഞാൻ ക്രിസ്തനെൻ പങ്കു

പോകുന്നു ഞാനെന്റെ താതനിൻ പക്ഷം
വീണ്ടും വരുന്നു ഞാൻ നിങ്ങളെ ചേർപ്പാൻ
എന്നുര ചെയ്തിട്ടു പൊയതിൻ ശേഷം
നാഥാ! മടങ്ങുവാൻ എന്തേ അമാന്തം

അന്നു നിൻ കാലൊച്ച ഏദനിൽ കേട്ടു
ഓടിയൊളിച്ചു ഞാൻ മൃത്യുവേൺ ഭീതി
ഇന്നു ഞാൻ ആത്മാവിൽ തേങ്ങുന്നു നാഥാ
ജീവന്റെ കാലൊച്ച വാനത്തിൽ കേൾപ്പാൻ

വാനത്തിൽ ഏറി വരുന്നിതെൻ നായകൻ
വാന ഗോളങ്ങളെ ശീമാവിൽ ചേർപ്പാൻ
വാന ലോകങ്ങളെ താണ്ടി ഞാൻ ഏറും
നേരമാ പ്രേമി തൻ മാറിൽ ഞാൻ ചേരും

കല്ലോലമാലിയിൻ മീതേ

കാണുമെൻ രാജനെ കാൽവറി നാഥനെ
കാലമെല്ലാം തീരും കാന്തൻ താൻ വന്നീടും

അക്കരെ നാടതിൽ വെക്കം ഞാനെത്തുബോൾ
ചുറ്റും ഞാൻ നോക്കുമെൻ ചിന്മയ രൂപനെ
പാടെഴും പൊൻകരം ദൂരവേ കാണുബോൾ
വീഴും നിൻ പാദേ ഞാൻ ചേരും നിൻ മാർവ്വതിൽ

കല്ലോലമാലി പോൽ ആർക്കും ദൂതഗണം
ചേരും ആക്കൂടെ ഞാൻ പാടും നൽ ഗീതങ്ങൾ
വീണ്ടെടുപ്പിൻ ഗാനം നാവിൽ നിന്നൂറവേ
ദൂതരെല്ലാം മൗനം സ്വർഗ്ഗേ എൻ ഗാനം താൻ

ഉള്ളം തളിർത്തു ഞാൻ പാടി എൻ കീർത്തനം
പ്രേമാസ്രു മാല നിൻ പാദേ ഞാനർപ്പിച്ചാൻ
നാവാൽ വർണ്ണിപ്പതോ നഥാ നിൻ വേഴ്ച്ചകൾ
വാക്കാൽ കൊരുപ്പതോ സ്നേഹത്തിൻ ആഴങ്ങൾ

നേർത്തത്താം തൃക്കരം മൂർദ്ധേ നീ വെച്ചപ്പോൾ
കൺകൾ തുറക്കേ ഞാൻ കാണ്മതെൻ ഈശനെ
കാരുണ്യവാരിയാൽ ആകെത്തളർന്ന നിൻ
ദൃക്കെന്നിൽ ഏറ്റതേ ജന്മം സംപൂജ്യമായ്‌

ഈ ഗാനം കേൾക്കുവാൻ നിൻ ദേഹം പാർക്കുവാൻ
ഈ നിമിഷത്തിലെൻ നിത്യത കൊള്ളിക്കാൻ
അത്രേ എൻ പ്രേമി ഞാൻ ഇത്ര മാംസ്വർഗ്ഗത്തെ
എത്രയും ചപ്പെന്നു ഉള്ളം ഒഴിച്ചു ഞാൻ

ശൂന്യത്തിൽ തൂങ്ങുമാ ഗോളേ ഇറങ്ങി ഞാൻ
ധൂതരെല്ലാം വാനിൽ സ്തബ്ദരായ്‌ നോക്കവേ
പുത്തൻ വഴിയതിൻ കുറ്റങ്ങൽ തീർത്തു ഞാൻ
സ്നേഹമാണീശ്വരൻ ജീവനിൽ കാട്ടി ഞാൻ

എൻ സ്വരം സൃഷ്ട്ടിച്ച കാട്ടുതടി മേലേ
എൻ കരം നിർമ്മിച്ച മാനുഷരാശിയാൽ
കൊന്നു ഞാൻ എന്നെത്താൻ നിൻ പാപം തീർക്കുവാൻ
നിൻ സ്വരം കേൾക്കുവാൻ നിൻ മു:ഖം പാർക്കുവാൻ

നാഥാ വരുന്നു ഞാൻ ജീവൻ മരണമോ
പ്രാണൻ പോകും വരെ ഈ ഭൂവിൽ പാടും ഞാൻ
പിന്നെ നിൻ സന്നിധൗ എത്തി മു:ഖാമു:ഖം
വീണ്ടെടുപ്പിൻ ഗാനം പാടും നിരന്തരം

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

But why Me Lord?..Why Me?

കല്ലോലമാലി പോൽ ആർക്കും ദൂതഗണം
ചേരും ആക്കൂടെ ഞാൻ പാടും നൽ ഗീതങ്ങൾ
വീണ്ടെടുപ്പിൻ ഗാനം നാവിൽ നിന്നൂറവേ
ദൂതരെല്ലാം മൗനം സ്വർഗ്ഗേ എൻ ഗാനം താൻ

"Like a million tides in the ocean, the angels will shout your praise
I will also join them to sing unto you the songs of grace
And while the hymns of redemption ooze out from my lips
Oh! all those angels go silent, my song alone vibes the heavens".

It’s a stanza from a poem depicting the poet's earnest desire to join the heavenly chorus to sing praises to the king. The situation is post-earth-life. And he is sensing yet another astonishment of the angels when he starts singing hymns of redemption. When he sings those blessed love of an almighty god who discarded everything, even his being god and emptied himself to incarnate as flesh. Lived as man, suffered hunger, pain and insults and finally died a death which was the most painful and humiliating; all to redeem the poet. And the angels, millions of them, just shut up. All those archangels, those masters of the orchestra, those mighty warriors of light, those elders and every heavenly creature stood silent. In awe, in appreciation, in admiration. This will be the final one of a series of surprises which those heavenly beings underwent from the foundation of the world. And this final surprise is all the more powerful and interesting because there they will see the whole plot getting unraveled. They will realize the question why which was haunting them from the beginning of times.
In the beginning god. And from nothing he called out everything. Everything including the heavenly beings and the earth and everything on it, except...except man. Those angels got the first shock when god, the almighty, the omnipresent stooped down on a dust ball suspended in emptiness. He came down on this earth. And out of dust he molded these human forms. Breathed life into them and called them man and woman. Those angels couldn’t understand. Couldn’t the god do all these with a wish of him mind. Can’t He create man also like he created everything else in this universe; by a word? But god chose to do it this way. And the angels wondered why.
When that snake crawled down the tree. When Adam and Eve feasted on that fruit. Oh! I am telling you that the heavens shivered. They knew the creator well. They knew that the laws were to be obeyed and not played around. They knew it because they have seen it in action. They have seen how one of their favorite archangels was banished out of heavens when he just rebelled. And they knew the end is near for god's most favorite creation. And the end is certain. And they wondered why god would go to such pains to create man just to kill them so soon. Why?
Oh! When, on that eve, god walked down on that garden, all heavens went silent. Awaiting yet another judgment on "ye shall die the day ye eat this fruit". And they watched... and they watched... and alas! They got another shock when god just let those feeble man live. True that man was cut off from those godly privileges; but yet was alive. Why?
Angels got yet another shock when one day in heaven god asked: "Who shall go? Whom shall I send?" and god answered: "Here I am, I have come; it is written about me in the scroll". Oh! I tell u the heavens shivered. When god emptied himself of all divinity, when he confined himself into a feeble helpless fetus inside the womb of a feeble human female. When god walked on this dust and surrendered himself to the laws of nature which he himself set. When god, as a child ran around the streets of Nazareth, when he got hurt while falling down, when he cried for milk, when he was hungry and longed for bread. Oh! Those angels just couldn’t understand why.
When the son of man cried in the garden on Gethsemane, the angels stood confused. But they were yet to get the shock of their life. when the king of kings and lord of lords stood there before those petty court of puny humans, when he remained silent to all their insults and abuses, when a bunch of human dust declared god guilty to be crucified, when the man of sorrow dragged that long way with a heavy cross paining his back and an even heavier heart sinking his soul, when they laid him of a rugged cross; a cross made out of wood he created, when they drove down those pointed nails through his flesh, when he was hung there between the heavens and earth, stark naked save a thorny crown, blood dripping from every inch of his flesh, blood gushing through that rugged wood making a red pool around the foot. Oh! The angels. All the eyes of the universe were focused on that tiny spot on earth. But when the god of the universe cried is the loudest of voices: "My Father, my Father, why have you forsaken me", all those angels would have said "Enough!" and turned their gaze to look at the Father. They were sure this cannot go any more. They knew how much the Father loves the Son. They have seen it. They have felt it. And now they looked at the Father to witness the great miracle finishing mankind and delivering the son.
And a miracle indeed happened. On the face of the father, was an even difficult and heavy battle going on. On one side was his only begotten son; the almighty god, the reason for all existence, the most obedient one who in the gist of a moment emptied himself of everything to obey the father, the son of man. And on the other hand there was me. me, manu. There was me on the other hand. Dust of dust. Created in sin, sin incarnate. Never obedient, never faithful, always rebelling against god, abusing god at the fall of a hat. The angels couldn’t understand why should there even be a selection between these two. There was nothing in favor of me. And it is not that god has never punished also. There under those rings of fire are those angels who were once the glory of heaven.

There on that moment of history, those heavenly beings got the shock of their life. When “the boundary lines fell for me in pleasant places.” When god the father turned away his wet eyes from god the son who was hanging as a rotten piece of flesh on the rugged cross of Calvary. when god the father made his ears dumb to the agonic cry of god the son, when god choose to love manu more than god himself. There, oh! The whole heavens, the whole universe stood in awe, shivered and could not even understand a bit of it. When god the father accepted that cruel death on the wooden alter as a pleasing sacrifice and sealed the fate of humanity by the words "it is finished". when the son perfected the new way on that cross and opened the gates of heavens for all humanity to get in and feast with him, when the almighty god ordered the angels to sing the songs of a lamb which was slained, exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name; those angels couldn’t understand what was going on. But they sure realized something serious is going on. These humans must be so real precious to god. And they all eagerly waited for that special day when I will sing those hymns of redemption of a lamb who was slained in my place. Then and then only they will come to realize why. Why god went to such extremes of pains and sufferings to recall those feeble looking specks of dust.

And do you know how anxiously they looked forward for my birth. Oh! manu who was bought by those precious blood on Calvary, manu whom the god almighty loved much much more than his own begotten son, he is gonna be born. And I was born. But a man out of sin I was born. Flesh incarnate I was born. The angels knew that was natural; but let’s wait till he realizes the light and walk the new path. And grace was shown to me. That mighty cross overshadowed my sins. That man of sorrow who was hung on that rugged cross like a bunch of flesh was overwhelming to my whole self and I broke down, accepted Jesus as my lord and savior and I was saved. What a joy. What an assurance.
But a man I am. Flesh of flesh. Little did my old man leave me. With all these knowledge of love, with all these provisions of grace, with all these authorities on heaven and earth, with all these inheritance of riches and grace; again did I sin. Again did I betray him, again did I abuse him, and again did I backstab him. With my life I made a mockery out of cross. With my intellect I belittled the heavens. And on each of those moments, I am sure that those angels looked at the face of my heavenly father. They were all asking: "what is going on?" "Was all those torture and shames for this?" "Was it to save such an unworthy creature that the lord of lords stooped down so low?" "Was it to redeem such an unthankful speck of dust that the god almighty emptied himself of himself?” and my father. My almighty father would just smile. I can see that smile. The smile of a defeated father. The smile of a heavy heart which is so tiered of loving me. The smile which pleads if only manu didn’t do that. A smile which whispers that yes I still love him!
Oh! Abba father! I am so sorry. So deeply sorry. Here I am and here I stand. All my life is before you. All my follies lie naked before your eyes. The ways which I betrayed you, the moments which I backslided, the bruises which I inflicted upon you. Father, u also knows that in spite of all those, I love you. And here I come father, just as I am. To tell you; with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my being, that I love you.
With every breath of my heart, with every inch of my life, with every iota of my flesh, father I love you. And I will sing this beautiful hymns of praise, this beautiful story of my redemption as long as their is voice in my throat, as long as their is breath in my chest. And even after that. Oh! With these eyes of flesh I may see you coming down in the clouds. Or with these ears of faith I may hear your voice calling off, “Oh! Yee sons of man, come over.” And there I will stand. On that beautiful shore. I will enter your gates. Those mighty gates of heaven. I will join those millions of angels and sing praises to the king. I will shout with them "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord". And when, and when I take up this beautiful hymn of redemption on my lips. When I start singing how the king of Judah became a lamb that was slained, how me, which was nothing but a speck of dust now stand amidst the heavens and sing praises to the king. And yea, when I sing those beautiful hymns of redemptions, those millions of angels will go silent. They cannot sing with me this special song. There they will understand why. Why god planned the heavens and earth in such a way that I will stand their one day and sing this praise.
But even then, this one question will remain in my lips. Even when I stand there with my full heart, full soul and full eyes, I will still struggle with this question: "But why me Lord? Why me?"